To write fiction, Virginia Woolf once wrote,
a woman needs money and a room of her own.
To write poetry, I think, a woman needs
a broken tea cup and some jam.
To write plays, I presume, a woman needs
the silhouette of a snake and an orange balloon.
To write essays, she needs only a long-haired
cat and night's open palm.
To write epitaphs, it follows, she needs
knitting tools and a gallon jug.
And to write fiction, Virginia Woolf
forgot to mention, you need cake,
opium, gorilla fur, and a ball of twine,